tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-323220432024-03-09T17:00:43.864+00:00ParkerA blog for our amateur sitcom ParkerNeil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-64122762702075621402010-10-07T17:05:00.005+00:002010-10-07T17:48:27.348+00:00Booty CallDear The Midnight Beast,<br /><br />Before I gave up on our amateur sitcom Parker, I came up with an idea called Girly Night, in which several relatively manly characters would have a classic girly sleepover[1]. Until now I still felt that, had I stretched the material to 15 minutes, it would have been my finest work. <br /><br />Then I saw the video to your song "Booty Call". This is funnier, more interesting and much more scarily transgressive than mine would have ever been, in part thanks to keeping it to three and a half minutes. The world is clearly a better place for me having abandoned Parker. Gentlemen, I salute you<br /><br />Yours Sincerely,<br /><br />Neil W.<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C8awKpyqSQc?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C8awKpyqSQc?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />The Midnight Beast, <em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8awKpyqSQc">Booty Call</a></em><br /><br />In case you don't know, a booty call is a phone call to arrange a sexual liaison, usually late at night on an ad hoc, clandestine basis. A phone in the shape of a hamburger is not absolutely required.<br /><br />Crossposted at <a href="http://nightofthehats.blogspot.com/">Night of the Hats</a><br /><br />[1] Strangely I never published the work I did on the blog, so here it is:<br /><br /><br />From Episode 2 (Working Title:Girly Night)<br /><br /><br />PARKER: ...But the worst thing about men is the way<br />they act like twats ALL THE TIME.<br /><br />CHRIS T: Not ALL the time.<br /><br />PARKER: ...ALL THE TIME! You walk down the street -<br />they come up to you with the most ridiculous and<br />obvious chat-up lines. Hang around in a bar - they<br />try to buy you a drink. Go to work - they ask you<br />questions about accountancy!<br /><br />CHRIS T: To be fair, you are an accountant.<br /><br />STAN: What I hate about men is that they smell. And<br />loom over you. And always have to be in control.<br /><br />JIM: Poor things. They don't realise they're getting<br />more obsolete as every minute goes by. Pass the<br />Taboo, please Stan.<br /><br />CHRIS T: Ladies, it's been a pleasure, but I've got a<br />baby to deliver. [Picks up baby basket and EXITS]<br /><br />PARKER: ...Hang around on a street corner - they<br />offer you money for sexual acts...<br /><br />[Enter CLAIRE and LARA]<br /><br />PARKER: Back already?<br /><br />CLAIRE: Yeah... how's your girly-night going?<br /><br />JIM: Stan's done my hair!Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-61224269791374830112008-04-13T21:32:00.003+00:002008-04-13T21:36:53.085+00:00Parker Episode IdeaClaire has driving lessons. Hilarity ensues.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-45267628322946606592008-01-29T14:12:00.000+00:002008-01-29T14:14:57.645+00:00Round UpIn honour of Mr Parker's birthday, here are the notes I scribbled down over Christmas:<br /><br />Neither Claire nor Lara can lie or conceal things when in the presence of Parker. This will obviously be used even when they don't know he's in the room. <br /><br />Also on that page I've written Quantum Rucksack. I have no idea what that is about.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-51348641780676560222007-08-31T09:55:00.000+00:002007-08-31T09:58:32.421+00:00Schnee the LegendWhat a Mr Schnee Episode should be, except with less build up and more ninjas.<br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/19McuaPKjI8"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/19McuaPKjI8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />(Ninjas from approx 1:30)Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-41875025472081281652007-06-20T19:36:00.000+00:002007-06-20T19:41:09.935+00:00The end of Parker: the bachelor yearsMr Parker has got engaged. After I had all the reactions normal people have to this kind of news (scream, run around, shout "Oh my God"[1], ask to see the ring etc.), I had the kind of idea that makes people unable to look away from this blog. Basically it goes:<br /><br />Engaged -> Ring -> Phone<br /><br />and gives us this idea:<br /><br />What if Parker <em>literally</em> phoned in his performance (especially if he hams it up?)<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[1] No, it's not me he's engaged to.</span>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-34792895147295693802007-05-24T08:40:00.000+00:002007-05-24T08:47:04.358+00:00The Best Parker Idea EvahSadly this idea has been stolen from a comment thread on Making Light that took a severe turn off-topic on the <a href="http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009027.html#188934">13th comment</a><br /><br /><blockquote><br />Any movie idea can be improved by the addition of a hot, wise-cracking,<br />babe with a leopard.<br /></blockquote><br />But that has never stopped <em>Parker</em> before.<br /><br />Stan: you find us a hot, wise-cracking babe[1]. Jim: The leopard.[2] Then we introduce the two of them (which might make good TV on it's own).<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[1] Or if you're lazy, a hot babe and I'll write some wise-cracks</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[2] Assumes we can't find the duo together</span>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-56924611715153456072007-05-23T19:16:00.000+00:002007-05-23T19:21:42.055+00:00Only an idea or twoHave we really not come up with a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076054/"><em>Freaky</em></a><em> </em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0322330/"><em>Friday</em></a> scenario where Parker and Claire swap lives for the day with hilarious consequences? Is this due to the idea being, you know, done to death? Or are we just dozy?<br /><br />One more question: What if Parker did <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUksaD-JJgI">Parkour</a>? (Or indeed <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlacXUJP4mw">Pour Quoi</a>?)Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-66701765231291290542007-04-18T11:53:00.000+00:002007-04-18T11:55:59.610+00:00One or two unrelated ideasOver the bank holiday weekend we came up with the following plot:<br /><br />PARKER is being taught to sail by CLAIRE, when the tide goes out and they end up stranded in the tidal pool on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Broadstairs</span> beach. Then STAN surfaces in a mini-sub.<br /><br />Also PARKER should say "There will be an accounting for this days work, mark my words!"<br /><br />(Or maybe "For your actions, you will be held to account")Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-42514158413861325942007-02-18T11:19:00.000+00:002007-02-18T12:04:04.205+00:00Legion of Hats: MoreStan thinks the Legion of Hats needs more. A loosely organised group of people who like, research, and are experts on hats isn't enough for him to get excited about[1].<br /><br />So, More. Here we go with a bunch of ingredients that have dragged themselves still damp and wobbly from the womb of my hungover brain[2].<br /><br /><br />1. Conflict<br /><br />Conflict drives story. We need conflicts of different types at every level, to generate plots. So conflict between Legionaires, between the Legionaires and the head of the Legion[3], between the Legion itself and this episode's problems. Additionally, we might want:<br /><br />a. An organisation that <em>opposes</em> the Legion; an anti-Legion that wants to hide hats away from mankind. This fairly obviously doesn't make any sense, unless they are led by some kind of 30's serial villain, but one or more possible motives may arise in other sections of "More".<br /><br />b. A <em>rival</em> organisation that has the same goals[4] as the Legion, but is in competition with it. I'm thinking something like the Milwaukee Museum of Headwear, but I think this can be improved on.<br /><br /><br />2. Mystery<br /><br />a. All this hat research is aimed at an objective! This will steadily be revealed as time goes on. In full <em>Da Vinci Code</em> mode this objective would be a very special hat, perhaps even a crown.<br /><br />b. Why the hell is anyone interested in hats? Why would someone fund an organisation to gather data on all the world's hats? Is it some kind of sick hat fetish? Were they molested by hats as a child? Or did they have a good experience with a hat? These sort of questions should be addressed for <em>everyone</em> in Legion of Hats.<br /><br /><br />3. History<br /><br />Every hat has a history.<br /><br />So lets act out this history. For a viking helmet, we do a viking scene. For a Nazi hat, we do a WWII scene. For a policeman's hat, we do some sort of police scene.<br /><br /><br />4. Comedy<br /><br />Is this to be played straight, or played as a comedy? Still open.<br /><br />Also:<br /><br /><blockquote>Chairman: [of the Very Big Corporation of America]... which brings us once again to the urgent realisation of just how much there is still left to own. Item 6 on the Agenda, the Meaning of Life... Now Harry, you've had some thoughts on this...<br /><br />Harry: That's right, yeah. I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts... One... people are not wearing enough hats. Two... matter is energy; in the Universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this soul does not exist *ab inito*, as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However,this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.<br /><br />[Pause.]<br /><br />Max: What was that about hats again?<br /><br />Harry: Er... people aren't wearing enough.<br /><br />Chairman: Is this true?<br /><br />Edmund: [who is sitting next to Harry] Certainly. Hat sales have increased, but not *pari passu... as our research -<br /><br />Bert: When you say 'enough', enough for what purpose...?<br /><br />Gunther: Can I ask with reference to your second point, when you say souls don't develop because people become distracted... has anyone noticed that building there before?<br /><br />[They all turn towards the window to see a building approaching or sliding into position outside.]<br /><br />All: Gulp! What? Good Lord!<br /><br />THE CRIMSON<br /><br />PERMANENT ASSURANCE<br /><br /><br />A tale of piracy<br />on the high seas<br />of finance<br /></blockquote><br />Monty Python <em>The Meaning of Life</em><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[1] Calm down Jim! I'm exaggerating for rhetorical effect. Although you have to admit that this concept is very like our normal lives.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[2] That's why this is called "More" rather "story elements" or "additional story structures", as I really can't come up with pretentious descriptors like that at the moment.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[3] Legate?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[4] <em>"To seek out strange new hats and headgear, to boldly go where no hat has gone before" - Legion of Hats mission statement</em></span>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-78559122370698796752007-02-15T11:10:00.000+00:002007-02-15T11:17:38.645+00:00Legion of Hats: GimmicksLegion of Hats needs gimmicks like Stan needs a drink. So here's two:<br /><br /><br />1. Hats (duh).<br /><br />Everyone wears a hat, all the time. Including Extras and Villains. Even when it's ridiculous. People get annoyed/<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">embarrassed</span> when their hat falls off/is stolen etc.<br /><br />This is to lead up to the season finale when everyone will be called out for an emergency, and will be in the bath/shower/bed in hats.<br /><br /><br />2. Videophone<br /><br />The very first thing to do for Legion of Hats is to film everyone, in their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">signature</span> hats, making some generic videophone calls. We'll play this on laptops/the big screen etc. This helps if someone really ought to be in an episode, but we can't get them to turn up for filming. I suggest we get videophone filming right away.<br /><br /><br />Finally: Random <a href="http://www.thurinusworks.com/thurinusworks4/?sectionid=13">Link</a>.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-80503573258179723632007-02-14T13:30:00.000+00:002007-02-14T13:36:36.008+00:00Legion of Hats: OrganisationAs I see it, the Legion of Hats is not a tightly centralised and highly organised group. Instead, it consists of consultants and specialists, brought in for their expertise and availability. In practice, this means we film with whoever is available, using a script/plan flexible enough for that purpose. <br /><br />In other words, my pilot should actually be several pilots. As this is too much like hard work, instead I will make it a modular pilot, with extra scenes and characters to plug in. As each character needs a purpose and to contribute to the story, this sounds like a challenge for even experienced writers.<br /><br />Heh.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-61712675711808990702007-02-13T15:16:00.000+00:002007-02-12T14:04:20.702+00:00Legion of Hats: IdeasWhen I first floated the Legion of Hats idea, as a photo-comic, Jim requested that they don't fight crime.<br /><br />I took this on board[1], even though my inital concept was a bunch of hat-wearing crimefighters. One of my ideas, and the one with the most legs, is for them to be researchers - investigators of new hat technologies and archeologists of mysterious and ancient hats. This gave me the following plots, off the top of my head[2]:<br /><br />- An ancient cowboy hat reveals a secret map (Note that my subconcious stole this from <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109439/">City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold</a>).<br /><br />- Stan is bitten by a vampire hat (a were-hat would make more sense, but loses the pun).<br /><br />- A fabulous techno-hat takes over someone's mind.<br /><br />- The Queen's hat is stolen.<br /><br />- The team discover the One Hat, the most powerful and desirable object on <strike>Middle</strike> Earth.<br /><br />The Vampire Hat idea looks good to me as a pilot, but I will be entertaining other ideas for a little while yet, so feel free to contact me.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[1] The second page was going to be Jim suggesting they fight crime, but the legion themselves coming up with reasons why not, such as they already pay taxes for the police to do that job, that it might damage their hats, and that, as all laws are tyrannical curtailments of natural freedom, the legion would become oppressors - the very thing they were formed to defeat.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[2] Pun intended.</span>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-11593080246851892952007-02-12T13:55:00.000+00:002007-02-15T12:31:51.342+00:00It's not a problem, it's an opportunity!<strike>Problem</strike> Opportunity: That despite having a big pile of Parker material and having spent a year thinkign about it we haven't done anything.<br /><br />[Note that a year isn't really all that long if we were real program makers making a real program. But we aren't. We're shoestring amateurs, shooting from the hip and off the cuff, with our hearts on our sleeves and a studied contempt for such values as quality, characterisation, humour and polishing things until they shine, goddamnit. Except that, from our output, we look like a bunch of idle bums.]<br /><br /><strike>Solution</strike> Challenge: Since we can't get what we need together for a pilot shoot, we should come up with more pilots until we actually shoot one.<br /><br />New Concept: The Legion of Hats.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(Click to make big)</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photo.hardstone.net/thumbs/Objects/Images/Scraps/Cartoon/208/2006/2006/2006/208-NTW-2006-2006-0005jpg/208-NTW-2006-2006-0005jpg-rotate90-960.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photo.hardstone.net/thumbs/Objects/Images/Scraps/Cartoon/208/2006/2006/2006/208-NTW-2006-2006-0005jpg/208-NTW-2006-2006-0005jpg-rotate90-960.jpg" border="0" /></a>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-51192090448490400112007-02-03T11:56:00.000+00:002007-02-03T12:01:56.393+00:00Super Bert? Now why does that sound familiar?Gareth, previously known for playing third ninja in <em>Schnee: The Legend</em> has been working on a superhero side project.<br /><br />And it's on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLnFO0gGy8g">Youtube</a>.<br /><br />(If you don't know Gareth, it's no funnier than any other amateur superhero-spoof video on Youtube, which is to say, pretty damn funny).Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-33099759784460384892007-01-31T13:37:00.000+00:002007-01-31T13:40:34.285+00:00AnniversaryWell, it's the anniversary of <em>Parker</em>, which, by a strange quirk of fate is also the anniversary of Parker. Rather than depress anyone with a list of what's been done, instead I'll simply mark this by noting that <a href="http://www.kathleen-turner.com/index.html">Kathleen Turner</a> has won another stage award. Perhaps Claire can help us out by contacting her famous relative.<br /><br />More to come in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">February</span> (honest).Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-4927161019688318402007-01-08T22:44:00.000+00:002007-01-08T22:55:31.759+00:00At least it can't get worse.Well, I've come up with an idea where Parker's brain hurts decides to hand over his thinking to other parts of his body. Starting, of course, with his penis.<br /><br />PARKER: Sorry, I've made my mind up. From now on, my penis is in charge.<br /><br />[Zoom to PARKER's groin]<br /><br />PARKER'S PENIS: Right. This Way!<br /><br />[PARKER is lead by his groin straight to the toilet and a waterfall sound effect comes out for the rest of the scene.]<br /><br />(Some plot-related banter goes here)<br /><br />[PARKER reemerges.]<br /><br />PARKER: That's not working out. From now on, I'm going to use my guts for thinking.<br /><br />PARKER'S PENIS: Oh! I was just getting started.<br /><br />PARKER'S GUTS: Too late! I'm in charge now! Come on - to the Kebab shop!<br /><br />(I think I can now promise that Parker will definitely improve throughout 2007)Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-31330457420141764462007-01-05T17:03:00.000+00:002007-01-05T17:05:21.753+00:00Xmas FilmingJim has filmed some Parker over Christmas!<br /><br />Now all I have to do is watch it to figure out what to do next. Based on Jim's usual production system I should be able to see the rushes sometime between now and August 2009.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1165239193220984162006-12-04T13:28:00.000+00:002006-12-04T13:33:13.240+00:00A swift updateOnce again nothing has happened, mainly because I can't come up with decent endings to episodes. (If I had decent setups, this might be the "Stephen King" syndrome). That's not good enough, so I'll begin outlining Peppercorn Rent, after this brief thought:<br /><br />Could Parker's first name be "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413300/">Peter</a>"?Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1163605945874532742006-11-15T15:46:00.000+00:002006-11-15T23:44:31.533+00:00One or two notesJim pointed out that if we wanted to keep Parker anonymous, maybe we need a fictional first name for him. I suggest "Richard Parker" after the tiger in Yann Martel's "Life of Pi". This is not quite apt as (within the book) the tiger is named Richard parker due to a bureaucratic error[1].<br /><br />The tiger has the name Richard Parker (outside the book) as a reference to a man involved in a shipwreck; there were four survivors in a lifeboat, but they ran out of food, and Richard Parker... well anyway, only three of them were rescued.<br /><br />Also in my notebook I've written "Lara is bitten by a vampire hat."<br /><br /><strong>Update: </strong>Good lord, some comment spam has turned up! How sad is that.<br /><br /><strong>Update Update: </strong>Got rid of it and turned on the letter-recognition thingy so only real humans and highly evolved patter recognition AIs can post comments.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">[1] It should, of course, be due to an <em>accounting </em>error to be a proper obscure reference.</span>Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1162210348235937862006-10-30T12:07:00.000+00:002006-10-30T12:16:14.883+00:00Peppercorn Rent NotesEpisode 3 will follow up from Episode 2: Parker's Boss, in response to the dinner party fiasco gives him the job of collecting "Peppercorn Rents".<br /><br />("You're punishing me, aren't you?"<br />"No, no. I just think you should get out the office more."<br />"I was out all last week dealing with those lawyers who hadn't paid any tax for 12 years, and the week before I was at Pawn studios, and before that..."<br />"Okay, okay, I'm punishing you.")<br /><br />Types of Peppercorn rent include:<br /><br />Peppercorns (Italian restaurant?)<br />A single white rose (<br />A frog<br />A roast pork dinner (Here we can link this back to the other characters)<br />A donation of a petticoat to a poor woman<br /><br /><br /><br />Other possible plotlines for this episode: <br /><br />Claire snoring (and playing the didgeridoo)<br />Nomads with a Mule dung generator<br />In protest at <em>Peter Pan in Scarlet</em>, Lara writes a sequel to <em>Peter Pan</em> called <em>Peter Pants</em><br />Claire writes a movie spin-off novel for Pawn studios called <em>The fallopian tube only goes as far as Stockwell</em><br />Lara attempts to top Claire's cooking with a truffle huntNeil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1162050308912451072006-10-28T15:42:00.000+00:002006-10-30T12:07:35.363+00:00Alternate endings to Kung Fu Schnee1. We raise the slapstick stakes by introducing a monkey.<br /><br />2. Garlic: Clove or Bulb?<br /><br />3. Parker's Boss offends Schnee with his mockery of Eastern mysticism. Schnee offends Boss with his disdain for counting illusory trash. A stony silence settles. Lara tries to break the silence with a wildly inappropriate joke.<br /><br /><strong>Update: </strong>4. Jermey Clarkson arrives in a Ferrari and releases a herd of pigs to search for <a href="http://www.mykoweb.com/cookbook/truffles.html">truffles</a>. Hilarity Ensues.<br /><br />[On a non-Parker note, the link includes a Crab and Truffle salad, which will be of particular interest to Stan. A large Truffle source seems to have been found in Berkshire in 2004]Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1160744233699282502006-10-13T12:54:00.000+00:002006-10-13T12:57:13.713+00:00Placeholder postIn case anyone is still reading this, here's what will be coming soon:<br /><br />Peppercorn rent episode<br /><br />Peter Pan/Lara centred episode<br /><br />Lara-as-character issues/knob jokes discussion<br /><br />Better endings for Kung Fu Schnee episodeNeil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1158670480637391102006-09-19T12:33:00.000+00:002006-09-19T12:54:40.770+00:00Possible Episode 10 ideasMy previous Claire Parker/Life on Mars post along with the season finale episode combined with my random introduction of the idea of Claire as a fan of filmmaking has lead me to plot out the end of Parker (season one).<br /><br />Or: Episode 10 has Claire marry Parker at a ballet performance in Richmond, while her <a href="http://www.christopherholt.com/photos-2002/00_london_galleries/canary_wharf_01.jpg">employer</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torchwood">Torchwood</a> moves from researching and combatting paranormal threats into making TV series' about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Trax">time</a>-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_of_Time">travelling</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecop">policemen</a>, offering her the job of producing "Sweeney - the Next Generation" leading her to move in with the Buttercups . Parker meanwhile goes to work in a pink shirt, changes his career to tube station announcer and jumps the shark. Lara is elected Mayor of London and leaves in confusion over the events in this episode. Chris T is discovered in the ironing board cupboard, snogging his new girlfriend.<br /><br />This needs a little polishing, but I think it's basically there.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1158622013690240112006-09-18T23:24:00.000+00:002006-09-19T12:22:59.063+00:00I think we should be told...I just watched an episode of "Life on Mars" (I missed approximately 50% the first time around) and noticed that the producer was one "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478942/fullcredits">Claire</a> <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/lifeonmars/producer.shtml">Parker</a>".<br /><br />Somebody, and it's not clear to me who, owes me an explanation (and a set visit for the next series).<br /><br /><strong>Edit: </strong>And by an explanation I mean has Sam Tyler actually travelled back in time while in his coma, or is he hallucinating the whole thing?Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32322043.post-1157104867913397122006-09-16T19:45:00.000+00:002006-09-16T18:51:03.840+00:00Parker Outline: Kung Fu Schnee (Episode 2, part 2)Well, here we are, two weeks after I promised to put this up, and it still doesn't work. Some of it is still in Neil-notes rather than full sentences.<br /><br /><br />[Continued from part 1]<br /><br />Scene 6<br /><br />Kitchen. Claire cooks. Parker fusses. Lara tries to help. Things get spilt, knocked over and fall out of cupboards. Claire banishes Parker from kitchen.<br /><br />Scene 7<br /><br />Living room. Boss arrives. Parker fusses. Lara is gracious and witty hostess. Chris T arrives and makes several off-colour comments. Lara sends him to the kitchen with the code phrase ("Ask Claire how the souffle is going") that tells Claire to keep him out the way. Sensei arrives. He is charming and interesting. Chris T returns with a tray of dips and Pringles and the code phrase ("Claire says that she needs 3 more eggs") that says to keep people talking as everything is delayed. The Buttercups arrive. Chris T and the Buttercups do competitive high kicks. Lara sends Chris T to the kitchen with the code phrase ("Tell Claire that her flatmate is an idiot") that tells Claire to <strong>really</strong> keep him out the way. 3 ninjas burst in. A dance fight breaks out between ninjas and buttercups. Boss is covered in dip. Claire and Chris T enter with something cold and messy which covers everyone in the room.<br /><br />Scene 8<br /><br />Claire, Lara and Parker are sitting down, eating the remains of the dinner. Lara comments that it could have been worse. Claire and Parker are not talking and direct their comments through Lara. Eventually everyone calms down. Chris T and his girlfriend are discovered snogging in the ironing board cupboard. <br /><br /><br /><br />This really-really needs help. I'm stuck. Can anyone do anything with this? Please? The comments are open for you.Neil Willcoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166832958072749813noreply@blogger.com0