A blog for our amateur sitcom Parker

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Legion of Hats: More

Stan thinks the Legion of Hats needs more. A loosely organised group of people who like, research, and are experts on hats isn't enough for him to get excited about[1].

So, More. Here we go with a bunch of ingredients that have dragged themselves still damp and wobbly from the womb of my hungover brain[2].

1. Conflict

Conflict drives story. We need conflicts of different types at every level, to generate plots. So conflict between Legionaires, between the Legionaires and the head of the Legion[3], between the Legion itself and this episode's problems. Additionally, we might want:

a. An organisation that opposes the Legion; an anti-Legion that wants to hide hats away from mankind. This fairly obviously doesn't make any sense, unless they are led by some kind of 30's serial villain, but one or more possible motives may arise in other sections of "More".

b. A rival organisation that has the same goals[4] as the Legion, but is in competition with it. I'm thinking something like the Milwaukee Museum of Headwear, but I think this can be improved on.

2. Mystery

a. All this hat research is aimed at an objective! This will steadily be revealed as time goes on. In full Da Vinci Code mode this objective would be a very special hat, perhaps even a crown.

b. Why the hell is anyone interested in hats? Why would someone fund an organisation to gather data on all the world's hats? Is it some kind of sick hat fetish? Were they molested by hats as a child? Or did they have a good experience with a hat? These sort of questions should be addressed for everyone in Legion of Hats.

3. History

Every hat has a history.

So lets act out this history. For a viking helmet, we do a viking scene. For a Nazi hat, we do a WWII scene. For a policeman's hat, we do some sort of police scene.

4. Comedy

Is this to be played straight, or played as a comedy? Still open.


Chairman: [of the Very Big Corporation of America]... which brings us once again to the urgent realisation of just how much there is still left to own. Item 6 on the Agenda, the Meaning of Life... Now Harry, you've had some thoughts on this...

Harry: That's right, yeah. I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts... One... people are not wearing enough hats. Two... matter is energy; in the Universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this soul does not exist *ab inito*, as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However,this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.


Max: What was that about hats again?

Harry: Er... people aren't wearing enough.

Chairman: Is this true?

Edmund: [who is sitting next to Harry] Certainly. Hat sales have increased, but not *pari passu... as our research -

Bert: When you say 'enough', enough for what purpose...?

Gunther: Can I ask with reference to your second point, when you say souls don't develop because people become distracted... has anyone noticed that building there before?

[They all turn towards the window to see a building approaching or sliding into position outside.]

All: Gulp! What? Good Lord!



A tale of piracy
on the high seas
of finance

Monty Python The Meaning of Life

[1] Calm down Jim! I'm exaggerating for rhetorical effect. Although you have to admit that this concept is very like our normal lives.
[2] That's why this is called "More" rather "story elements" or "additional story structures", as I really can't come up with pretentious descriptors like that at the moment.
[3] Legate?
[4] "To seek out strange new hats and headgear, to boldly go where no hat has gone before" - Legion of Hats mission statement



Post a Comment

<< Home