Booty Call

Dear The Midnight Beast,

Before I gave up on our amateur sitcom Parker, I came up with an idea called Girly Night, in which several relatively manly characters would have a classic girly sleepover[1]. Until now I still felt that, had I stretched the material to 15 minutes, it would have been my finest work.

Then I saw the video to your song "Booty Call". This is funnier, more interesting and much more scarily transgressive than mine would have ever been, in part thanks to keeping it to three and a half minutes. The world is clearly a better place for me having abandoned Parker. Gentlemen, I salute you

Yours Sincerely,

Neil W.


The Midnight Beast, Booty Call

In case you don't know, a booty call is a phone call to arrange a sexual liaison, usually late at night on an ad hoc, clandestine basis. A phone in the shape of a hamburger is not absolutely required.

Crossposted at Night of the Hats

[1] Strangely I never published the work I did on the blog, so here it is:


From Episode 2 (Working Title:Girly Night)


PARKER: ...But the worst thing about men is the way
they act like twats ALL THE TIME.

CHRIS T: Not ALL the time.

PARKER: ...ALL THE TIME! You walk down the street -
they come up to you with the most ridiculous and
obvious chat-up lines. Hang around in a bar - they
try to buy you a drink. Go to work - they ask you
questions about accountancy!

CHRIS T: To be fair, you are an accountant.

STAN: What I hate about men is that they smell. And
loom over you. And always have to be in control.

JIM: Poor things. They don't realise they're getting
more obsolete as every minute goes by. Pass the
Taboo, please Stan.

CHRIS T: Ladies, it's been a pleasure, but I've got a
baby to deliver. [Picks up baby basket and EXITS]

PARKER: ...Hang around on a street corner - they
offer you money for sexual acts...

[Enter CLAIRE and LARA]

PARKER: Back already?

CLAIRE: Yeah... how's your girly-night going?

JIM: Stan's done my hair!

Parker Episode Idea

Claire has driving lessons. Hilarity ensues.

Round Up

In honour of Mr Parker's birthday, here are the notes I scribbled down over Christmas:

Neither Claire nor Lara can lie or conceal things when in the presence of Parker. This will obviously be used even when they don't know he's in the room.

Also on that page I've written Quantum Rucksack. I have no idea what that is about.

Schnee the Legend

What a Mr Schnee Episode should be, except with less build up and more ninjas.



(Ninjas from approx 1:30)

The end of Parker: the bachelor years

Mr Parker has got engaged. After I had all the reactions normal people have to this kind of news (scream, run around, shout "Oh my God"[1], ask to see the ring etc.), I had the kind of idea that makes people unable to look away from this blog. Basically it goes:

Engaged -> Ring -> Phone

and gives us this idea:

What if Parker literally phoned in his performance (especially if he hams it up?)

[1] No, it's not me he's engaged to.

The Best Parker Idea Evah

Sadly this idea has been stolen from a comment thread on Making Light that took a severe turn off-topic on the 13th comment

Any movie idea can be improved by the addition of a hot, wise-cracking,
babe with a leopard.

But that has never stopped Parker before.

Stan: you find us a hot, wise-cracking babe[1]. Jim: The leopard.[2] Then we introduce the two of them (which might make good TV on it's own).

[1] Or if you're lazy, a hot babe and I'll write some wise-cracks
[2] Assumes we can't find the duo together

Only an idea or two

Have we really not come up with a Freaky Friday scenario where Parker and Claire swap lives for the day with hilarious consequences? Is this due to the idea being, you know, done to death? Or are we just dozy?

One more question: What if Parker did Parkour? (Or indeed Pour Quoi?)