Parker

A blog for our amateur sitcom Parker

Monday, August 28, 2006

Schnee 2 - Revenge of the Schnee

(Once again, rather than doing anything directly relevant, I've written the sequel to Schnee, starring our friend Mr Schnee. )


Scene 1

MR SCHNEE is discovered by the camera walking along the street in a manly way.

THREE KIDS appear as he walks.

FIRST KID: Hey - it's that guy Mr Schnee. They say he's a kick-buttock kung fu king.

SECOND KID: I reckon it's all bull-feathers.

THIRD KID: No way could he take on three ninjas - he'd be dead doo-doo.

SCHNEE: You kids shouldn't use language like that.

FIRST KID: Shove it Grandpa!

All three laugh.

SECOND KID: Yeah! Stick it where the sun don't shine!

All three laugh.

THIRD KID: You're just... not really... all that good... not fair - you two got the best lines in first!

All three laugh. MR SCHNEE walks away dejectedly.



Scene 2

MR SCHNEE and A GIRL are found together.

GIRL: What's the problem Mr Schnee?

MR SCHNEE: Three kids mocked me. I couldn't use my kung fu skills as they were just kids and my perfect interaction with the natural balance of the universe would be broken by beating up random strangers who mildly aggravate me.

GIRL: I hear that three evil ninjas plan to beat up a random stranger on camera. If you were that random stranger and turned their plan on them, not only would the natural balance of the universe be restored, but when the film is shown on TV kids in the street will respect you.

MR SCHNEE: That's brilliant! What would I be without you?

GIRL: I'm just the Yin to your Yang!

They laugh

AND CUT TO






Scene 3

THE FIGHT SEQUENCE with THREE NINJAS who in a not very clever bit of post-modern trickery are played by the same actors as the kids.



Scene 4

MR SCHNEE and A GIRL are walking down the street. THREE KIDS appear.

FIRST KID: Hey! It's Mr Schnee! He beats up random strangers!

SECOND KID: On TV!

THIRD KID: And his films are full of violence and bad language! I'm going to be just like you when I grow up Mr Schnee!

MR SCHNEE: Thanks kids. And thank you, girl, for coming up with a plan to rescue my reputation.

GIRL: It's nothing.

MR SCHNEE and A GIRL embrace. ZOOM IN on their faces and they both wink to the camera.

END CREDITS and THEME MUSIC

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home